I’m gna piece together here what is roughly my account of love from posts I’ve recently written abt it – I hope that’s OK; these n more can all be found in my /tagged/love, n U are always welcome to ask for more clarification/detail
from this post abt loving yrself:
I’ve stated previously that I don’t conceptualise love as “mere emotion” or some primitive feeling or drive; for me, love is contained in loving action (not just external acts oriented toward a person or toward ppl, but internal acts of thinking n believing that align w those actions, inform them, n are oriented in the same way […])
from this post abt radically-loving heterosexual relationships:
radical love must be founded on the perpetual acknowledgement n prioritising of each other’s humanity; it must be rooted in mutuality, in being-together, rather than in one person; it must be rooted in vulnerability, in embodying the kind of honesty that isn’t merely tied to words – it is a way of being; it must be rooted in action, rather than in mere feeling – it is not enough to just “feel” love – love is only manifested when it is sth that is done … n what makes radical love truly radical is threefold: (1) it encompasses the perpetual rejection n relinquishing of power over others – not just those in the bond, but everyone: it is anti-hierarchy, anti-coercion, anti-exploitation, anti-violence, n (2) it is dedicated to truth, to preventing itself from replicating the kinds of violence n dynamics that are present in the kinds of love that capitalism/patriarchy advocate n necessitate, n (3) it is hopeful, in that it is oriented toward a loving, communal future for all
from my addendum to my post abt masculinity, n patriarchal/transactional relationships:
when I say love, I don’t mean some hollow, infantile, sentimentalized, immobile n seemingly-immutable “feeling” – I’m talking abt an action, a series of actions, a constellation of actions that necessarily connects ppl to each other in nourishing, nurturing, validating, acknowledging, sustaining, communal ways; in humanising ways
from this ask chastising me abt the irrelevance of gender to love:
love is not some pure, incorruptible force/state of being/realm, nor is it psychological/social truth; it is as subject to capitalism, hegemony n all of their accompanying systems, structures, n processes as any other social behaviour that occurs within them – even more so bc love is integral to maintaining them, n that specific importance is primarily mediated n structured by gender
love as we commonly, uncritically understand it is completely inextricable from gender
n just to clarify – I understand love as being rooted in action n necessarily coupled w/strengthened by certain feelings, thoughts, n beliefs – one cannot exist w/o the other; love-as-action w/o love-as-feeling is hollow; love-as-feeling w/o love-as-action is mere sentiment
all of this then has an orientation – toward one’s bond w/another or w/others, rather than being centred in oneself or in the other/in others; I talk abt this in more detail here
lavenduers 