Author: all things grow

some good consent phrases

thatdiabolicalfeminist:

“May I hug you?”

“When I ask you if you want to do something, you know it’s always okay to say no, right?”

“Let me know if you get uncomfortable, okay?”

“How do you feel about (x activity)?”

“I’m disappointed, of course, but I’m really glad you were willing to tell me (no/that you were uncomfortable/etc.). Thank you.”

“I care about you, so when something I do hurts you or makes you uncomfortable, I want to know, because I don’t like making you feel bad.”

“Wanna do (x)? It’s okay if not, but I think it would be (fun/worthwhile/prudent).”

(When starting a social phone call): “Hey, are you busy right now?”

(When confirming plans made earlier): “Hey, are you still up for doing (x) at (time) on (day)?”

“Can I vent a little about (x)?”

“Can I tell you something (gross/depressing)?”

“Are you comfortable talking about it?”

“Do you think you could talk me through this problem I’ve been having? If you have the time and emotional energy of course.”

“It’s okay if that doesn’t work for you.”

“I’m interested in spending more time with you. Would you be interested in doing (x) together on (y day)?”

“No? Well let me know if you ever want to do something else.” (leave it open! don’t nag! let it go!)

Consent culture – it’s about way more than just sex!

Give people as much freedom as possible to make their own choices without pressure or control.

Even children deserve as much autonomy as allows them to remain safe and get their needs met – remember, you can’t train a child to make good/safe/healthy choices without ever giving them choices. A child who is taught to respect consent is a child who doesn’t assault people! A child who knows they have a right to say no is a child who knows that someone who infringes on their autonomy isn’t supposed to do that.

A consent-conscious relationship is a healthier and safer relationship, and a person who is aware of and deliberate about asking for, giving, receiving, refusing, and being refused consent is a healthier and safer person.

misspunnypuns:

cardassian-andorian:

so this weekend i went to 2 different autism awareness events. one was a get-together outside a suburban fire station with a bunch of autism organizations repping, two food trucks and a little ball pit. it was nice enough, and you could tell the kids were enjoying it. it was put on by autism speaks, which didn’t thrill me but i didn’t give it much thought. i definitely noticed, though, that most of the parents had on shirts like “i’m an autism parent” or my personal fave, “autism is a beautiful journey that turns mama bears into rock solid grizzlies”. it very much felt like an event FOR the parents and not for the kids.
today, i volunteered at “sensory science day” put on by a local science museum in junction with the autism group from my university. WORLD of difference. it was catered to the kiddos and many of the volunteers were autistic adults. a bunch of the stations were about learning how the autistic brain works and neurodiversity and senses. there were maps marked with the designated “cool down” areas (which had boxes with storybooks and stim toys) and little marks to indicate areas that were “smelly” (like the farm animals exhibit). upstairs they had a gallery of art done by local autistic artists. they had a video on a loop of autistic adults talking about autism.
i respect the first event for doing what it was there to do, but the other one was just a perfect example of what I think autism acceptance events should be.

That one sounds beautiful.